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In recent years, a powerful shift has taken place in our understanding of femininity. The concept of the "dark feminine era" has emerged as a time of empowerment, self-discovery, and breaking free from societal expectations. This journey invites us to explore the depths of our being, embrace our shadow selves, and tap into the raw power of our femininity. In this blog post, we will discuss some practical steps to embark on your own dark feminine era and unlock your true potential.

What is dark feminine energy?

Dark feminine energy is constantly being misconstrued all over social media all the time. It’s commonly shown as either toxic traits or chaotic behavior without cause or even a “how to get a man obsessed with you” energy and this all couldn’t be further from the truth. It tends to be portrayed as manipulative energy and this is wildly inaccurate. If you choose to use it in the wrong way, or you aren’t doing shadow work, then yes you can become manipulative but dark feminine in itself is not manipulative. When you come from an unhealed place and aren’t tending to your wounds then you can easily end up using this dark feminine energy in a manipulative way.

Dark feminine is not unhealthy, manipulative, or dangerous its a natural part of being a woman; its a natural part of our energy. Dark feminine energy is about putting yourself first. It is fiery, spicy, fearless, passionate, bold, confident assertive, seductive and mysterious. It is about communicating your limits, being in touch with your desires, learning to protect yourself and most importantly its the transformative side of you. If you want to change your life, level up your life, or reinvent yourself then it is time to step into your dark feminine era.

Women in pop-culture who embody dark feminine energy

Some great examples of notable woman in pop-culture who embody dark feminine energy (in my opinion) would be: Beyoncé, Rihanna, Angelina Jolie, Megan Fox, Nicole Kidman, and Scarlet Johansson.

A lot of these woman are incredibly successful. They have that dark feminine energy that is fearless and bold. They have confidence that helps them get what they want. They embody an energy that is a little more elegant and mature then the light feminine. When the dark feminine is flirty she is not cheeky and playful like the light feminine, but rather she is flirty in a sultry and seductive way.

How to step into your dark feminine era

Self-Awareness and Shadow Work

The first step in entering your dark feminine era is to cultivate self-awareness. Take the time to reflect on your emotions, desires, and aspirations. Explore your shadow side – those aspects of yourself that you may have left unacknowledged or suppressed. Self-reflection through journaling, meditation, or therapy can help uncover hidden layers of your identity and create a deeper connection with yourself. You could even look into what your black moon Lilith placement is, this placement shows you those aspects of your shadow self. If you are new to shadow work you may want to check out my post on helpful ways to easily start embracing your shadows.

Embracing your Darkness

The dark feminine era is not about promoting negativity, but rather about acknowledging and integrating all aspects of ourselves. Embrace your imperfections, insecurities, and vulnerabilities. Allow yourself to feel a full range of emotions, recognizing that they are all valid and essential for your growth. If you need to let out anger, let it out, bottling up emotions such as anger, sadness, fear, frustration will only end up doing damage to yourself physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually.

Sacred Rituals

Engaging in sacred rituals can be a powerful way to connect with your dark feminine essence. Create your own rituals, such as: new moon and full moon rituals, fire meditations, weekly or monthly self-love routines, becoming deeply connected to your menstrual cycle or even considering working with a dark goddess. These practices allow you to tap into ancient wisdom, honor your feminine energy, and foster a deep sense of spirituality.

Become Comfortable Being “The Villain”

This is not meaning be an actual bad person, but rather in the sense that you have to get comfortable not pleasing everyone and possibly being disliked by people. Not needing every action you take being approved of. For example, let’s say you are on a first date at a restaurant and you are just getting major red flags from this guy. You’re not really comfortable with him at all and you know it’s not a match. A woman who embodies her dark feminine is comfortable enough to say “thank you for taking the time to meet with me but this isn’t gonna work out” and leave. Even though it’s a little bit uncomfortable and makes you the “villain” do it anyway. Being disapproved of doesn’t always mean you are doing something wrong.

Be in the Driver Seat of Your Life

A dark feminine woman knows she is in the driver seat of her life. She knows that she is on this earth to live a life that actually lights her up and feels good to her and not just doing what other people tell her to do. This is not to say you shouldn’t seek out a trusted friend or family member for advice but at the end of the day you have the final say. Knowing this is It’s what gives you the courage to be bold and make your own decisions and be fearless in those little moments. The dark feminine knows to trust her own intuition instead of what others say. It is impossible to please everyone and she knows this and she is comfortable with this. She knows that she has to stand in her truth even if it ruffles a few feather.

This is not a comfortable part of leveling up your life; standing in your truth, saying no, having the courage to be disliked, but sometimes its necessary and your dark feminine energy is gonna help you do that.

Know your Standards and Boundaries

The dark feminine knows her standards and boundaries and she is not afraid to walk away. Take the time to really think about what your boundaries and standards are and write them down if you need to. When a woman is in her dark feminine and she, for example, starts dating a new man, if he isn’t meeting her standard and isn’t treating her with respect and respecting her boundaries she doesn’t beg for him to change. She doesn’t complain and yell at him to fix it, she doesn’t constantly list all the things that he is doing wrong, she simply walks away. The dark feminine woman knows the power of her absence and she walks away calmly. Learning how to have the power to calmly walk away once you realize that things aren’t for you is a super power. If you want to level up your life then to some extant you have to be ruthless with your energy and where its going and who its going to. Not everyone and everything should have access to your energy.

If you’re married and your partner starts doing something that you don’t like, sometimes you don’t want to just get up and walk away. That’s something you can do more easily early in a relationship not a committed relationship. Once you’re married walking away isn’t necessarily the first option. But a woman who is embodied in her dark feminine energy knows the power in leaning back and rescinding her energy. Less energy goes towards her partner, more energy goes towards herself. Focus on yourself and living your best life. The dark feminine woman knows that if a situation is not in her best interest, whether that’s a relationship or even a job or city she lives in; she leaves. Know that there are times in life where you will have to detach and move on. If something is a not for you move on and don’t look back. If you are being taken advantage of, disrespected, manipulated, played with, then exit the situation. Rescind your energy because you respect yourself enough to not do that. You have to have standards and you have to know your worth. If your standards are not met then your energy does not get to go there.

That dark feminine side of you expresses her limits, that’s the side of you that lays down the boundaries and if you dont have this energy then you are more likely to get hurt and taken advantage of. These standards are not only for your own good but sometimes they are for your own protection. I once read something on instagram that goes “Your wants dont get met but your standards do” in other words, you get what you are willing to accept. If you really want to upgrade your life you have to upgrade your standards; the dark feminine energy helps you do that. Get to know your standards and get crystal clear on them. What are you willing to accept in relationships, romantic, friendship, family, work, health, yourself, your own habits, your body? Once you know your standards anything that does not meet them does not get your energy.

Quietly Assertive

The dark feminine is not afraid to be quietly assertive when she needs to be. There are inevitable moments in life where we need to be assertive to get what we want or have our standards met. Many people think of being assertive to mean masculine energy but that’s not necessarily true. Assertiveness is neither masculine nor feminine but you can be assertive in more of a masculine way or a feminine way; it all depends on the way that you do it. Masculine assertiveness feels more like pushing forward, not physically, but energetically as if leaning into the situation and there will be times in life where you need that type of masculine assertiveness. Every woman needs a little masculine in her life to create that balance and create a good life for herself. Feminine assertiveness, which comes from that dark feminine energy, feels more like leaning back, quieter; rescinding your energy. You don’t always have to communicate with your words your body language can often really send a message, or even just the way you look at someone. I like to think of that time when we were little and misbehaving and usually our mom looked at us a certain way and we knew we had to stop doing whatever it was we were doing, that is that assertive dark feminine energy. When you do have to communicate usually it’s a lot simpler, you can say things like, “no, I’m not gonna do that” “no, that’s not ok” no pushing forward needed just simply no, here’s my boundary. Being quietly assertive is about being direct, clear, simple but calm. You don’t always have to raise your voice sometimes you just have to raise an eyebrow. We all need that assertiveness sometimes to get what we want.

Mystery and Privacy

Another aspect of the dark feminine is that she has a little more mystery to her and tends to be a little more private with the way that she lives her life. This can be incredibly beneficial, not everything is meant to be shared and not everything is meant to be shared and even when it is it does not have to be with everyone. There is a lot of power in moving in silence. This is not to say hide everything from everyone, you should be able to trust your best friend or close family members, don’t isolate yourself, but telling everyone everything is usually not in your best interest. Not everyone has your best interest in mind and this goes back to having your standards, when your standards are not met that is when you rescind your energy. Not everyone gets access to those deeper parts of you. That open and trusted relationship isn’t just something that’s given its earned.

There can be a lot of value in listening more than you speak, being observant, not over sharing, not bragging to everyone about everything. A woman who embodies her dark feminine energy doesn’t overshare and that is part of what makes her so mysterious. Being a little more reserved in how you approach people and moving in silence is a way to protect and guard your energy until you can identify who has your best interest in mind and who doesn’t. Which brings me to our next point.

Be Selective of Who Receives Your Time and Energy

This is a key trait of the dark feminine woman, she is selective to where she puts her energy and who she gives her energy to. This bit of privacy and mysteriousness makes it so you can better do that. We become the average of the top 5 people that we spend our time with. The dark feminine knows who she gives her time and energy to is crucial to who she becomes. Be selective don’t waste your time and energy on low quality things, people, environments. Remove yourself from places that don’t match your energy without fear of missing out. When you want to truly level up your life you have to put yourself first, focus on yourself; the dark feminine is that more self-focused energy.

It’s Okay to Be a Little Selfish

The dark feminine woman knows she has to be a little bit selfish sometimes. We are not always in a leveling up phase in our life but when we are that deep self-focused energy is required, it becomes inevitable. Don’t be a selfish person, there is a fine line here, and there is a big difference between knowing that it’s okay to be a little bit selfish sometimes when you need to and put yourself first versus just being a selfish person without though or care of others. The dark feminine side of you is self-focused in a good way, sometimes your needs do come first, you do need to prioritize yourself not only to thrive but also to protect yourself.

The Balance Between Light and Dark

If your more of a giver who naturally likes to put the needs of others above yours then you are naturally a light feminine women, who loves to give, loves to nurture, is super sweet kind and caring. That is beautiful but if it’s not balanced with also making yourself a priority sometimes then you will never fully get what you want out of life. The dark feminine teaches you that it’s ok to be your own priority. The goal is not to embody the dark feminine all the time, there needs to be a balance between your light and dark feminine in order to truly thrive in your divine energy. When these two energies come together that is how you start creating the life that you want. That is how you become your most evolved self. If you are missing your dark feminine side then you might have a hard time fully stepping into your power and creating the life that you’ve always dreamed of.

The path to entering your dark feminine era requires courage, self-reflection, and a willingness to embrace all aspects of yourself. As you embark on this journey, remember that it is an ongoing process of self-discovery and growth. Embrace the beauty and power that lies within your darkness, for it has the potential to unlock profound wisdom and transformation. Trust in yourself, honor your intuition, and surrender to the timeless flow of the feminine energy that guides you. Embrace your dark feminine era and watch as it paves the way for a life filled with authenticity and empowerment.