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People often have some misunderstandings about Lilith. On the one hand, people see her as a demon full of dark and evil energy and it is wrong to seek her out. By the way dark and evil do not mean the same thing but we’ll get more into that in another post if you like. On the other hand, there’s people that express a lot of hesitation around working with her. they have these ideas that she is a goddess of retribution and that she wants to destroy and punish you. Or that you have to be very specific and particular about rituals around her and that you have to approach her in a very specific way. This couldn’t be further from the truth. This causes people to not seek her out or not hear when she is seeking you out.

If you want more on signs she is seeking you out feel free to check that post out next.

There’s a lot of fear around what might happen if you work with Lilith. There’s also the question of, what does that make you, if you decide to work with a “dark deity”? Is it so wrong? Does that make you wrong in doing so?

Let’s dispel these ideas surrounding Lilith. Generally speaking, there is absolutely no reason to fear Lilith. Although there are some exceptions and we’ll discuss those further on.

Why would you want to work with Lilith?

This may be surprising to most but Lilith has a really beautiful maternal energy. You might not expect that a deity associated with demons, sexuality and child murder, would have a maternal aspect. However the biggest reason she is associated with child murder is that in a few more popular stories she had her own children taken away from her. One of her main aspects is that of mother; protection and nurturing.

Being a maternal Goddess, Lilith can also help you build internal strength, resilience, and the courage to stand up for yourself and take full control of your own life. She is the dark mother and with that strong and powerful energy she can help guide you into being the best version of yourself.

By the way if you want to learn more about the mythology of Lilith and all the reason why you’d want to work with her, I have another post dedicated to that.

Do I need a fancy ritual?

Lilith is not a deity that you have to be afraid of. If you want to do detailed rituals and reach her in such a specific way, you can do that. However, if that’s not something you enjoy doing you do not have to do so. Forcing yourself to do specific rituals or following specific guidelines of astrological aspects or gathering all the specific bits and pieces to have the ‘perfect ritual’ will end up sucking the life right out of your connection. this goes for which ever deity you choose to work with including Lilith.

Is Lilith going to hurt me?

Lilith is not a “bad” goddess and she is not here to punish you. If you’re being a shitty human being, and you’ll know if you are, then you have to do better. A relationship with her will bring these things you may need to work on into focus and if you’re not willing to look at them then it very well may feel like punishment.

If you are not willing to do the hard work and be honest with yourself about how you’re showing up in the world. Or not facing the impact that you’re having and whether you’re living aligned with your values and boundaries. Or not honoring your truth, then it’s going to hurt. It could hurt really badly. The impact of this could feel like cleaning out a really nasty old infected wound. You will be scraping gunk out of there and if you refuse to acknowledge that this wound is infected because you’ve been putting dirt in it for years then its just going to be pain. This is called the shadow work. Shadow work means you are facing those shadows, acknowledging them and working on or improving those aspects of yourself.

To learn more about shadow work and ways to ease into it check out that blog post next.

Do not engage with Lilith if you are not willing to be honest with yourself.

If you’re not willing to look at the things you need to work on and acknowledged them for what they are, then it may not be the right time for you to reach out to Lilith. In fact if you do reach out to her but she notices you’re not ready there is a good chance she will simply ignore you. And this is the worst that you can receive from her; she would never hurt you, she would simply choose to ignore your call.

Acknowledging what you need to work on will include a lot of forgiveness which is a tough pill to swallow. You’ll have to look back at the way you’ve hurt others and yourself. Being forgiving to an old version of you and being kind to yourself is required in order to move on from old wounds. While it is your responsibility to clean up the mess you’ve made there is a lot that contributed to you getting to the point where you could make that mess in the first place. It’s not easy, it’s so much easier to not look at it than acknowledge it.

This all comes back to doing the shadow work and that is the most difficult thing you will have to go through with Lilith but she will help you through it. She makes you face these things and that is where a lot of people misunderstand and misinterpret the things that she brings to light. She doesn’t do it to hurt you, she does it because it’s what makes you grow as an individual and makes you more capable of manifesting the life that you want.

Are you willing to treat yourself and others as sovereign?

Are you willing to treat yourself and others in your life as beings into and onto themselves that have their own life? Lilith will help you learn that you are not subject to what others think of you, what others think they need of you, to someone’s comments, to someone’s desire for you. You are subject only to your own divinity.

Likewise, you have to recognize and accept this about others in your life. If your are coming to work with Lilith with the idea of wanting to control someone else, wanting to make sure that you get what you want the way you want from who you want then this will probably end up turning really painful. In fact she could choose to ignore your plea or worse she could bring it about in a form of a lesson.

Are you comfortable enough to explore your own sexuality?

Lilith is also the goddess of sexuality and expression so questions like, “where’s your shame at?” is going come up. And it may end up being very boldly in your face and you’ll have to face it head on. You will be in it and experiencing it and you’ll have to figure out how you are going to navigate it. Are you going to be subject to it or are you going to learn from it. Lilith does this as a way to help you not feel shame and accept yourself completely for exactly who you are.

For some this may be easy, for others it may be very difficult. It may be especially difficult if you have had a very strict upbringing, raised with the values of those who view sex as something shameful. And to those who struggle with this I would caution you to slow into working with Lilith pertaining to these aspects of exploring sexuality. If you are willing to trust her she will help guide you into trustingly open up this side of you.

Are you ready to be your most authentic self?

Lilith is only the goddess of fear if you fear yourself. If you are brave and face your fears, she will welcome you with open arms. She will show you the lights and insights that you never could have imagined. Lilith is truly the goddess of being your most authentic self and she will help you get there if you are willing to let it happen. If you feel truly ready to embrace your most authentic life than you are definitely ready to work with Lilith.