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Working with a deity especially a dark goddess such as Lilith can be cathartic especially when you’re in need of healing trauma caused wounds. Wether you believe these deities are something completely separate from you or you believe they are an archetype portrayed by your mind it is something that can benefit your overall self development.

When working with any deity it is important to understand and treat it as though it is a two way relationship. Meaning, like any relationship, it requires give and take. In order to get what you want from the deity you’re interested in, you must also be willing to give. 

Every deity has different correspondences; likes and dislikes and these are usually based on their background stories. Lilith has many background stories and therefor has many different forms and personal qualities that people working with her may or may not experience.

Research Lilith

Like any other thing when it comes to witchcraft, research is a great place to start. Learn about her, find out about all her background stories and read different perspectives of these stories. 

Keep in mind most stories about Lilith are portrayed through the lens of the patriarchy so it is up to you to discern what is true. For example, people say she is a baby eating demon, but if you look further into it the reason she threatened to kill children was in retaliation to God saying he would kill 100’s of her own children per day for not wanting to return to the garden and be submissive to Adam. This is also based on Judaic text, however, Lilith is found in many stories way before Judaism and in those stories she is described as a revered Goddess.

Doing research shows a level of devotion and energetic entanglement. This is the best way to show devotion to her. If you want to see Lilith’s stories summarized in one place check out my post. 

Understand why you want to work with Lilith

Understanding Lilith’s stories will help you understand her strengths and how she can help you. Take some time to step back and see what it is about her that attracts you and what is it about a relationship with her that will be helpful to you. This will help you set clear and strong intentions that you’ll want to communicate with Lilith when attempting to contact her. Lilith wants clarity, authenticity and truth. 

Contacting Lilith

Contacting Lilith can be as simple or as intricate as you want it to be. This can be as simple as saying “dear mother/goddess Lilith I call on to you”. You’ll want to be in a calm and peaceful state of mind. When you first contact her you’ll want to introduce yourself and let her know what your intentions are. What interests you about her and what you’re hoping to gain from the relationship. 

She may appear to you in one of many forms that she tends to take on. Closing your eyes or using a mirror will help you see her when communicating with her. But you do not need to see her in any form, you could simply hear her and for that you’ll need to have a clear, calm mind and be in-tune with your intuition.

If you want to have a more intricate experience when contacting Lilith you can set out a candle, some incense, crystals, or any offerings that she’ll like. You don’t have to do all of this on your first encounter but if you feel called to then by all means do what feels right to you. When doing anything in life it’s best to be in tune with your intuition and let it guide you. If you need help understanding how to listen to your intention there’s a great book I highly recommend called Intuitive Witchcraft : How to Use Intuition to Elevate Your Craft by Astrea Taylor.

Offerings to Lilith

Offerings to Lilith can be material items or they can be acts of service. 

Material items can be great gifts for Lilith. These can be things she likes, pertaining to her stories and they can be given to her by placing on an altar dedicated to her; calling to her and say that you offer this to her. 

Things Lilith likes:

• Animals - Cats, Bats, Owls, Snakes, Dragons

• Lilith Sigil

• Images and Statues of her

• Alcohol - Red wine, Darker spirits (whiskey, spice rum) 

• Colors (candles in these colors would be great) - Black, Red, Purple

• Crystals - Garnet, Dragon Stone, Black Obsidian, Smoky Quartz, Carnelian, Red Jasper

• Red Roses; alive or dead

• Incense - Rose, Myrrh, Musk, Sandalwood, Dragons Blood, Mugwort 

• Dark Chocolate

• Cherries

• Apples

• Moon Water

• Blood - there is a misconception that she will ask for this but she won’t, its totally up to you and it can be as simple as a tiny drop from pricking your finger, but know that consent is always important to her.

• Sexual fluids, orgasms 

Acts of service can be more meaningful as they can be helpful to your own growth which is the key to building a close bond with Lilith. These acts can be things you implement in your daily life and you would call on her before beginning by saying you call her into the space/practice.

Acts that Lilith likes: 

• Meditation

• Yoga

• Dancing

• Self Love rituals/spells

• Drinking alcohol or eating chocolate in her name

• Embracing and exploring sexuality

• Sex Magic 

• Shadow work 

• Healing sexual trauma

• Asserting independence especially regarding to women’s rights

• Reclaiming personal power

• Setting boundaries and cutting off toxic relationships 

• Any spell work with the intention of achieving any of these acts

These acts can help you personally just as they will empower your relationship with Lilith. Not only that but you’ll also find that by calling on her when doing these acts you will feel her energy, you can channel her and then be able to do these acts with more confidence. 

Doing spell work with Lilith

You can call Lilith into your space of practice whenever you are doing spells; especially spells that help empower you and bring out your divine feminine energy. You would simply call on her before doing the spells and ask for her guidance and energy. 

Incorporate the things Lilith likes in your spells. Having an altar dedicated to her helps call to her and channel her. Your altar can start off small, don’t feel the need to purchase everything you can think of. A few crystals, images, roses or candles are a great way to start. I have a few things you can check out in my store as well as bookmarked on Amazon. 

Working with the moon is a great way to channel Lilith’s energy. One of Lilith’s correspondences is the dark moon; this is in the midst of the new moon. The new moon is roughly 3 nights long the middle of this time is known as the dark moon. This time period is perfect for planning out your manifestations for the new month. Any spell work for manifestation something new in your life would be great during this time. 

If you’re curious on learning more about manifesting with the moon check out that post next. If you want to keep up with the phases of the moon there is a great app for this called Lunar Phase Widget on the Apple store and Moon Phase Widget on Google Play.

Lilith in Astrology

You can find your Lilith placements in your astrological birth chart referred to as black moon Lilith and asteroid Lilith. These are the most common, but there definitely several more astrological placements named after her.  

Knowing your sign placement in black moon Lilith can help you understand your attributes that you may struggle with. The black moon Lilith shows you where you may have felt ashamed, shamed, ridiculed, stifled, deeply misunderstood, or repressed in some manner. 

This shows you traits of yourself that you may struggle to express. This can cause a self-destructive cycle which causes you to repress these traits until something causes you to lash out and essentially explode repressed emotions. Through shadow work you would be able to work on accepting these characteristics of yourself and learn how to express them in a healthy way that seems fitting in your life.

Learn more about your Lilith placements here.

Things to Keep in Mind 

Be brave but know your boundaries. Only do what you’re comfortable with doing. With any spirits you work with consent is super important both ways. Lilith will also respect if you stay true to who you are. Know that with any deity the overall goal is self-development. 

When approaching Lilith approach with respect and give some time to develop a relationship. Look and just listen, listen to your intuition as it’s what connects you to your spiritual body and see what comes up. Allow the embodiment of her energy to come through in little ways in your everyday life. This creates an attraction and an emotion that she can work with in.